PMAAA NORthern CALifornia

For a moment I thought I could forget you. For a moment I thought I could still the restlessness in my heart, I thought the past could no longer haunt me - nor hurt me. How wrong I was!

For the past, no matter how distant, is as much a part Of me as life itself. And you are part of that life. You are so much a part of me - of my dreams, my early hopes, my youth, and my ambitions - that in all my tasks I can-t help remembering you. Many little delights and things remind me of you.

Yes, I came. And would my pride mock my real feelings?

Would the love song, the sweet and lovely smile on your face, be lost among the deepening shadows?

I have wanted to be alone.

I thought I could forget you in silence and in song. And yet I remembered. For who could forget the memory of the once lovely, the once beautiful, the once happy world such as ours?

I came because the song that I kept through the years is waiting to be sung. I cannot sing it without you. The song when sung alone will lose essence of its tune, because you and I had been one.

I wanted this misery to end, because it is part of my restlessness.

Can-t you understand? Can-t you define the depth, and the tenderness of my feelings towards you? Yes, can-t you see how I suffer in this ever darkness without you?

You went away because you mistook my silence for indifference. But silence, my dear, is the language of the heart. How could I essay the intensity of my love when silence speaks a more eloquent tone? But perhaps you didn-t understand.

Remember, I came, because the gnawing loneliness is there and will not be lost until the music is sung, until the poem is hear, until the silence is understood-until you come to me again.

For you alone can blend music and memory into one consuming ecstasy. You Alone.